


Why Dinner Knives are Rounded

by CloverTheGrand



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Bickering, Crack, Gen, Historical Hetalia, Rivalry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:21:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24038029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CloverTheGrand/pseuds/CloverTheGrand
Summary: England and France, having just finished a thirty years war, are instructed to spend some “diplomatic bonding time“ at a feast. Then again, it was not a good idea to make two teenage nations get along without much supervision. And an even less of an idea to have weapons such as sharp knives present.
Relationships: England & France (Hetalia)
Kudos: 19





	Why Dinner Knives are Rounded

**Author's Note:**

> This is a very old fic about how dinner knives got rounded. Apparently they got rounded so that dinner guests would stop picking their teeth with the sharp tips.

They shot glares across the dining table as the feast went on.

Or at least, England shot dirty glares while France did his best to do the same.

Wasn’t surprising. They had just finished a thirty-year war, and so far, they were  _ too  _ keen to start another thirty.

England watched. Soon, France grew tired of pretending to glare back, and gave up. He huffed.

How else could he unnerve France? The sharp pointed dinner knife next to his hand gave him an idea.

He stared at France until he was paying attention. As expected, France huffed, annoyed.

“What?”

England stabbed the knife into a piece of roasted pork. France raised an eyebrow, interested.

And gawked when England picked up the pork with the knife before gnawing on it like meat on a bone.

He snorted, cheeks stuffed full of pork, and continued to gnaw off the blade. When the last chunk of meat was eaten, England flashed his grin, all of the gaps between his teeth absolutely stuffed with pieces of meat.

“You mongrel!”

England used the tip of the blade to pick the bits of food between his teeth without breaking eye contact. France started to gag.

“Like what you see?” England taunted. France shriveled up his nose.

“Crazy Protestants,” he muttered. England laughed. It was entertaining to see how repulsed that frog was. Fun fact, intimidation was one of the only competitions where England almost always won-

He yelped when a knife whizzed up from above and brushed his nose before lodging deep into the table’s wood.

“I suppose that that’s quite good for intimidation, is it not?” England glanced up to see France stand on top of the table, dislodging the knife as he smirked the right shithead he was.

Insulted, England growled and leaped onto the table, brandishing his dinner knife as the other dinner guests gawked in horror. “Haha! En garde, bitch!” He spat as he thrusted the blade towards France’s direction.

France tutted, and chuckled coldly as he tipped the knife’s tip down with his blade. “Arthur, j’ai pensée qui ton Français comme plus mieux de ça.”

“Why you-!” Arthur thrusted his knife as France parried. And so began another of their infamous sparring sessions.

_ We should really put rounded tips on these knives _ , somebody thought. That somebody was Cardinal Richelieu, who then started the tradition of making dinner knives round. Not that it did not reduce the number of times England and France sparred on top of the dinner table.


End file.
